Shy Assistant Told To Change Personality

Q: I have been working in my position as a secretary for six months. In the interview, I told the woman who is the boss that I am shy and quiet. She said she did not have a problem with that because secretaries are not supposed to be blabbering away.

But she now wants me to be outgoing and talkative like the sales reps in our office. In the past two months, she has mentioned numerous times that I should be more sociable, meaning I should exchange girlie gossip and share secrets. I cannot do that.

I don’t gossip, even with close friends, and she is my boss, not a friend. Up to now, I have managed to laugh off the requests, but she told me to "grow up" so I can one day take on some of the sales work.

I would be a fool to quit, but I don’t know how to let her know that I have never been and will not become that person she wants.

A: ‘Growing up’ has nothing to do with the social skills of a good sales rep. The two job categories of secretary and sales rep require different personality traits and job skills. Good secretaries are organized, efficient, detail-minded and clear communicators. Of course it helps to be pleasant, but that doesn’t include being chatty and overly social. As she said during your interview, secretaries should not be blabbering. Good sales reps have a gift of gab and an ability to promote any product they represent.

Next time she mentions that you should try to be social so you can take on sales work, explain that the two job types require different skill sets. Tell her that even though you excel in secretarial skills, you have neither the personality traits nor the desire to work in sales, and that you hope she allows you to continue functioning as an executive secretary, where your skill set shines.

Employee Told To Lie to Customers

Q: I answered phones at an auto dealership and did administrative work. The dealer advertised cars at great prices, but those cars did not exist. I was told that when I received calls about the advertised cars, I was to tell people they should come in to see them. When they arrived, I was to assign the people to sales reps, who told them the cars were either sold or sent somewhere else. The sales reps then got the customers interested in cars we had on the lot.

Although jobs are hard to get, I had to quit because I hated lying to people. Was I wrong to quit? Do you think ‘white lies’ are wrong?

A: No, you were not wrong to quit. Let’s focus on how lying makes you feel. Seeing as you quit the job because of it, it sounds as if you knew lying was the wrong thing to do. Some people say white lies are harmless because they are intended to help, not hurt, people. An example of a harmless lie might be telling a person she looks fine even though you think the clothing she’s wearing is not flattering. Telling her your truthful opinion would only serve to hurt her, especially if she can’t go home and change into something else. A good rule to follow is to consider whether the person can correct the situation before you offer a negative opinion.

False advertising is clearly wrong. The dealership’s owner or manager apparently felt it was a harmless way to lure customers in to see the available cars. No one can force a person to buy a car, and the customers who did not buy likely felt inconvenienced, but the customers who did buy other cars probably would not complain. That is likely how the dealership justifies the false advertising.

Quitting a job before having another job is not a great idea if you live paycheck to paycheck, but staying in a job that required unethical behavior would have been worse for you. Quitting on principle takes courage, and you did what was good for you. That means it was the right thing to do.