It took you awhile to muster up enough courage to talk about your career ideas. You'd avoided such conversations because you didn't want to be mowed down by criticism; you'd gotten that too many times before. But this time, you hoped it would be different. You chose someone you thought would understand, and you cautiously described your ideas and waited for a response, even anticipated some encouragement. And then those dreaded words filled the awkward silence: "Let me play the devil's advocate here."

The role of the devil's advocate has persisted and mutated over many centuries. Originally, their role was to attack the credibility of candidates for sainthood. Today, you won't just find them at religious tribunals targeting would-be saints. Instead, you probably have them in your family or among your best friends and co-workers. Your modern-day devil's advocates skip the trial but still pass judgment that you are incapable of making a sound career decision.

People calling themselves "devil's advocates" don't just jump all over your ideas with doomsday predictions; the naysayers are particularly treacherous to your enthusiasm because they use leading questions that could block you from even exploring your career ideas. Here's how they work and some tips to avoid their traps.

Booby Traps

The devil's advocates ask questions to lead you down a path that they have constructed. The problem is the path has little room for your ideas and concerns. The conversations go something like this:

You: "I am dissatisfied with my career, and I am seriously looking into changing to something else. I have some ideas about what I'd like to do, but I'm just not sure yet."

DA: "Let me play the devil's advocate here for a second. You've been in your job for a long time, right? How much retirement have you accrued?"

You: "Oh, about ten years worth, but I am just fading away in this job."

DA: "So, you have ten years vested in your retirement. Are you planning to pay for your kids college tuition?"

You: "That's the plan. But I think I could earn as much money doing something else, and I would be much happier."

DA: "How do you expect to earn as much money as you do now when you don't even know what you want to do? Where else do you think you'll be able to find the security and benefits that you have now?"

Sometimes devil's advocates are disguised as the "practical and realistic" police, ready to enforce their rule that there's only one right career for you and one way to get into it. Here's how that conversation usually goes:

You: "I'm really interested in writing. I might take a writing class to check it out."

DA: "How practical is that? Do you know how many writers are out of work? Why don't you look into computer work instead? There's more of a future in computers."

You: "But I just want to take one writing class to see if I like it or could be any good at it."

DA: "Why waste your time if it won't get you anywhere? You've got to be realistic about your future!"

The dialogue will often continue in this direction, unless you stop the devil's advocates in their tracks. In reviewing the first exchange between you and the DA, did you notice how your comment about "just fading away in this job" was ignored? Did you catch how your enthusiasm to do something else was pushed aside? Most apparent is the devil's advocate's agenda to convince you that you're about to make one huge mistake if you even think of leaving your job or trying anything new.

Most anyone engaged in these dialogues would just stop talking. Why try to explain? Your curiosity has been attacked, so you retreat back into your dreams and keep silent about ideas for fear of future attacks.

Counter-Attack

You deserve the chance to explore your ideas. To do that, you might consider addressing the possible motives behind the devil's advocate's questions. In this way, you can maintain your right to pursue your interests and perhaps gain their support.

You could say something like this: "I really appreciate that you're looking out for me. What I could use right now is your encouragement just to look into my ideas, even though they're not all that planned out. I think that if I take the time to check out my curiosity about some things, I might become clear. And you don't have to worry that I'll quit my job and starve. I'm just throwing around ideas with you."

Whatever you do, be sure to break the line of questioning that the devil's advocate tries to engage you in. The longer you are in it, the farther away you will get from exploring a new career or trying out a new idea. Instead, try to win their support by involving them in your ideas. Those who criticize your ideas may feel left out of your decision-making and want only to be kept in the loop. If it's appropriate, ask them to help you in some way.

Your devil's advocate might point out something you hadn't considered. However, rather than giving them the final say over your career ideas, view your